My life is quite unlike anything I had imagined for myself. Had you asked me what I wanted for myself when I was younger, my answer would have been small town simple. I wanted to be a teacher, a wife and a mom - that was pretty much it, because that is how my young self saw the women in my life. Strong, happy and loved. I wanted to be like them, to be the heart of my family.
I still want that, but I have learned that my story is following a different path. Still small town simple, only over the river and through the woods, forging a new path on my own terms and in my own time.
I had the fortune to grow up in a small town, in a family full of love and support, big on faith and education, largely sheltered from the unpleasant realities of the world - think "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," only that we are Czech and I am not getting married, lol. I lived a Mayberry life until I was 18 years old. I played sports, went to brownies, church and youth group, showed school spirit at the pep rallies and football games, giggled with my friends over which boys we were crushing on, fought with my brother and sister, studied, got good grades, learned to drive, went to prom, and got accepted into college.
It was college that changed me - or perhaps, awarded me the freedom to be myself. I learned that I loved football, the Dave Matthews Band and beer. Man, do I love beer! I learned that I love having friends who are all different, with the greatest common factor being that the company I keep are all good hearted people. I learned that I do not like being told what to do, but that sometimes I need to be told exactly what to do. I learned that it is okay to need people and to ask for help. I learned to push myself harder and farther than I ever thought possible. I learned that I had cancer - Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, to be exact.
I have to say that the cancer was the biggest lesson. I found compassion, patience, and an iron will to survive. Cancer changed me, and for the better. It opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities; life is short, why not do what I want?
My early twenties were rocky. My parents separated, my dad passed away unexpectedly from a massive heart attack. This could've been really bad - I could've chosen a completely different path. But God had a plan. He had blessed me, from the very beginning of my life, with friends and family that I could count on to see me through the darkness of the forest. He brought an Ironman into my life. A guy I thought was completely insane, but that I admired very much and secretly wanted to be like. A guy that convinced me that I could run a marathon, and who I now realize planted the seed deep inside of my brain that perhaps, one day, I too would swim, bike and run.
It didn't happen overnight. For five or six years, all I wanted to do was coach basketball. I loved being on the court and around the game. Basketball is in every fiber of my being. I only needed to run to stay in shape so that I could play, right? Running a marathon is just CRAZY. But I wanted to do it, and I did. And I was hooked. Not right away, but over the course of a year, when I realized that I had run 26.2 miles. I wanted to do it again, because I just knew that if I trained hard enough, I could do better. Funny thing was, that I did train for the next one, and it was 20 minutes slower than my first one! So of course I was mad and wanted redemption. I signed up for another race, and hit a new PR. But still, I believed I could do better. So I signed up again, trained again . . . and ran slower than my PR but faster than my worst marathon.
After marathon #4, I was ready to sign up for my 5th - because i just KNEW that one would rock! In between registering, I watched a friend of mine compete at St. Anthony's triathlon here in St. Pete, FL. That was the beginning of the end. I wanted to do that. I wanted to be a triathlete.
And I am. I have successfully completed (2) sprint and (1) Olympic tri so far this year, with another of each on my race calendar. I also have a half-iron distance triathlon scheduled, which I am currently training for vigorously. When I agreed to do the half iron, I laughed. I think perhaps it was because I knew that the monster was out of control, that I have finally discovered not the life I want to live, but the LIFESTYLE. I finally discovered what I want.
I want to be healthy and strong, and live a life full of challenges. I want to be a role model for others, for my family, friends, co-workers, the girls I coach, my future children. I want to live my favorite quote, the quote I wear on a necklace - "Be the change you wish to see in the world. - Ghandi." I want to be an IRONMAN. Hang on to your seats, friends. The path just got wet, gritty and uneven.
And so I run.
No comments:
Post a Comment